Play an entirely accidental adventurer who makes their way through the weirdness of dungeons with nothing but exasperation and unshakeable self-belief.
I made this a while back and found recently found it again. It's entirely derivative of work by others like David Brawley and of course based on the super inspiring (though in my experience underused) Red & Pleasant Land book of vampires in wonderland by Zak Smith.
Anyways, here's my tweak on it.
The Alice (or Allardyce):
A Carrollian Character Class of Wit and Whimsy
Hit Die: d6
Saves: Dex, Cha
Weapon: Simple weapons
Armor: None
Skills: Pick any three
Tools: All gaming sets and musical instruments.
Language: Common and one other
Equipment:
- One simple weapon
- Three trinkets
- A game set or instrument
- A purse
Level 1 - Exasperation (d4)
Level 2 - Class Feature
Level 4 - Ability Score Bonus, OR Class Feature
Level 5 - Exasperation (d6)
Level 6 - Class Feature
Level 8 - Ability Score Bonus, OR Class Feature
Level 9 - Exasperation (d8)
Level 10 - Class Feature (roll twice)
Level 12 - Ability Score Bonus, OR Class Feature
Level 13 - Exasperation (d12)
Level 14 - Class Feature
Level 16 - Ability Score Bonus, OR Class Feature
Level 17 - Doubly Exasperated
Level 18 - Class Feature
Level 19 - Ability Score Bonus, OR Class Feature
Level 20 - Class Feature (roll twice)
Exasperation: Once per real-time hour, Alice may become exasperated with the situation and roll a d4 against the chart (in the RPL book) for the result. The die type increases at 5th, 9th, and 13th level.
Doubly Exasperated: Once per session, you may roll twice on the Exasperation table and choose which result you'd like.
Class Feature:
Roll 1d100. Most class feature can only be chosen once. If one is rolled, select the next. The Exception is the “Red Knight” ability.
At 10th and 20th level, roll twice and gain both features.
1-5 Alice was then reminded of something she’d noticed before...
Gain proficiency in one Save you are not proficient in.
6-7 “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.”
Gain the Keen Mind feat
8-9 “Speak English!” said the Eglet. ”I don’t know the meaning of half those words and what’s more I don’t think you do either!”
Gain the Linguist feat
10-11 Falling down wells really improves the hand-eye coordination:
Gain the Athlete Feat
12-13 Again she heard a little pattering of footsteps in the distance.
Gain the Alert feat
14-15 Alice was not a bit hurt, and jumped up in a moment.
Gain the Dungeon Delver feat
16-17 Soon her eye fell on a very small glass box
Gain the Observant feat
18-19 “That was a narrow escape!” said Alice
Gain the Mobile feat
20 “Well, now that we have seen each other," said the unicorn, "if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.”
Gain the Lucky feat
21-25 She noticed the Red Knight always feinted to his left— she was a very perceptive girl.
Gain 1 use of Inspiration after each use of Exasperation.
26-30 Alice liked pies, although sometimes people did not want her to have them.
Alice can cast Goodberry once per day. The goodberries look like tiny pies.
30-35 She closed her eyes and said the words just as she’d been taught...
Gain the Magic Initiate feat, only acquired once.
36-39 Oh, I do so apologize...
Once per foe, you may use a bonus action to "accidentally" trip. This check is made at advantage. Only acquired once.
40 Her sister had mentioned they were dreadful people...
Gain the Favored Enemy feature, but it applies to one organization instead of a type of creature.
41-42 All that hiding in the dumbwaiter has finally paid off.
The Alice knows a secret. Once per session, she may make an Intelligence check (DC 15) to replicate the effects of a Legend Lore spell.
43-44 It seemed nearly everything was dangerous if handled improperly.
Gain the Tavern Brawler feat.
45-46 It was very shiny and stuck out like a soup spoon...
On a successful mêlée hit, the Alice may use a bonus action to make a Sleight of Hand check to grab an item (other than the target’s weapon) off a target. This won’t work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it.
46-50 She was not such a mouse as she used to be.
+1 Dexterity to racial max, excess goes to Strength or Constitution.
51-52 Alice then did something quite astonishing...
Alice may add her Charisma bonus to her Armor Class.
53 The blue one certainly did make the Alice taller, of that Alice was certain...
Become proficient in the poisoner and herbalist kits.
54 She could be very charming when she needed to be.
Gain the Actor feat. Social rolls against nobility are made at advantage.
55-60 “I do hope it will make me become large again!”
Alice may Use all Magic Devices.
61-62 “It really was curious,” she thought— “How many times could this kind of thing happen?”
The Alice may escape death or another equally awful fate exactly once. The Alice must spend at least a round playing possum to build tension but...surprise, the Alice jumped out of the way just in time!
63 She knew to curtsey at times like this, and so she did.
Gain the Uncanny Dodge Ability
64-67 It was so lovely, and— according to the book— it was right there.
Whatever the thing that the Alice always wanted is, it’s there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. (there are some more rules, just read the RPL book)
68-71 She had not known her mother’s cousin very well, and decided that it was a bad thing that she had died...
The Alice has been willed 5,000 gp in assets: art, libraries, lands, or other eldritch strangeness.
72-73 They kept talking as though Alice was a rhododendron in a pot.
Gain the Skulker feat.
74 She knew from school what the word meant, but did not know if it was rude or not.
Alice may attempt to speak to any creature with a successful Intelligence 10 roll.
75 Alice quite liked drawing, and had an impressive box of crayons at home.
Become proficient in the forgery kit and painter's tools.
76-78 She thought it might be a saltcellar, or at least that seemed like a good word.
The Alice can accurately appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree:
The value of nonmagical things can be estimated flawlessly. With a successful Arcana check, Alice knows if a magical item has something off about it.
79 She did seem to offend people (and animals) wherever she went.
Gain proficiency with any one weapon.
82-85 They all listened attentively as Alice told her tale.
+1 Charisma to racial max, excess goes to Wisdom or Intelligence.
86-88 They began to throw stones, and Alice began to avoid them.
Gain Evasion Only acquired once.
89-93 She began to feel somewhat neglected.
If the Alice is attacked in a round that she spends doing nothing but dodging and her attacker misses, the attacker will not only miss but fumble and lose his or her next turn (if s/he or it has multiple attacks, s/he will lose a number of attacks equal to the Alice’s level). This only works once per foe on anything of better than zombie intelligence that sees it happen.
94 She tried to remember what she knew about stoats.
Become proficient in Handle Animal checks. And may Speak with Animals
95-00 Alice had seen so many unusual things lately, it had become usual.
Immune to Fear, Insanity and Confusion effects.
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